If You're Not Bored, Its a Waste of Time

1 Year Ago Today...

2008-01-29T13:15:00.001-08:00

Sweet Prince,

as I lay marveling in your splendor today, tears filled my eyes as I thought upon the wonders you spread amongst this world. And as I lay, a cloud appeared of your magnificent steed galloping on 4 legs towards the Rainbow Bridge.

I know you are in heaven smiling down, watching us while we pray for you, everyday we pray for you. Till the end when we meet again, every day is when I'll see you friend.

Just think, when you win the gallant race against the heavens horses, you will gladly hold the golden chalice of many.

Best Video Ever

2007-05-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

I don't really post anymore except if I see something really funny and I don't want to try and email it to all my friends. I got this video from WithLeather.com, and it is the best video I have ever seen.

Note the guy playing the sax on the staircase when there isn't even a sax playing in the song.

Ode to Barbaro

2007-01-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

Bust a Bucket!

2006-11-14T12:43:00.000-08:00

Before Portland was an incohesive group of thugs like Sheed and Damon Stoudamire, they were actually pretty good in the early 90's. They even had an EA Sports game named after them, Bulls v. Blazers and the NBA Finals. They must have let their popularity mess with their heads a little bit when they made this video though.

Baylor as D2: The Mighty Ducks Are Back

2006-10-31T18:23:00.000-08:00

The Mighty Ducks and D2 are two of my favorite movies of all time. For many years my answer to the "If you could be anyone who would it be" question was Adam Banks, former Hawk turned Duck.

Anyway, I also like Baylor football, and this is what Baylor's season would have been like it was D2.

Guy Morriss leads his team heading into the 2006 season with 9 newcomers on defense. However, the lure of celebrity becomes a distraction to CJ Wilson and the players, and reality kicks in when they lose the opener against TCU. TCU is an embarrassing defeat. Frustrated, Morriss drives his players even harder, yet Baylor continues to suffer, highlighted by a loss against lowly Army. Suffering, the season changes when they come across a group of middle schoolers playing backyard football who teaches them how to play like "the real Baylor." (Here, new players emerge, Sam Shalala, who earlier mocked Baylor during its games but now continuously tries to fire up the crowd, and Ralph Rodriquez a kick off specialist). Morriss realizes that the most important thing is to have fun. After a change in attitude, the Bears redeem themselves by finishing the Big 12 5-3 and again meet TCU at the Fort Worth Bowl. This time Baylor proves to be a match for TCU, but the game ends in a tie, resulting in overtime, which the Bears win.

Credit to Wikipedia for the summary and Deadspin.com or KSK because I ripped off this idea.

2006-09-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

Let's Go Mets

2006-09-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

With the Rangers out of the playoff picture, I have to finda team to pull for during the 2006 playoffs. I've always liked some of the players on the Mets, like Keith Hernandez, and this season they are a great team.

However, that alone is not enough to make me pull for them. It was not until I watched the music video of their 1986 theme song, Lets Go Mets!, that I decided to back them.

We've got the team work, to make the dream work....

Make you sure watch long enough for the Joe Piscopo commentary.

In other news, Bill Simmons has uncovered a funny music video from the Disco Era called Apache.

More YouTube Fun

2006-08-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, a lot of people know about Carl Lewis singing the National Anthem and unintentionally funny it is. Well, here is a video of Carl Lewis' hit single, Break It Up. For the most part it is awesomely bad, but towards the 2/3 mark it gets kinda creepy and wierd.

Jeff George is Back!!

2006-08-28T15:36:00.000-07:00

Today the Oakland Raiders signed Jeff George, one of my favorite QB's. He is 38 years old and has never been consistent. I wish him luck. Here is a video of Jeff George being an asshole to the Atlanta Falcons.

Rangers 07

2006-08-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

Cligar: Ok, I say sign GMJ for the off the books money we get for Arod, nevin, and chan on (atleast 20 mil)
Cligar: sign lee
Cligar: trade blaylock and danks and wilkerson
Cligar: for a bad ass pitcher (Smoltz in his last season)
Cligar: sign eaton as your 2 guy
Cligar: and win the world series
Thewhitley05: sounds like a plan
Thewhitley05: i'll trade wilkerson anytime ppl are ready to
Cligar: so next years lineup...... GMJ Kinsler Young Lee Tex
Cligar: Derosa
Cligar: Cruz
Cligar: Laird
Thewhitley05: whos the DH
Cligar: Botts
Thewhitley05: nice
Cligar: and Stairs
Cligar: I guess
Thewhitley05: so you playing derosa at third
Cligar: smoltz, millwood, eaton, wells, volquez
Cligar: right
Cligar: I think Stairs can play 3rd some?? maybe Arias could play it
Cligar: if he is good
Thewhitley05: what about the kronkster?
Cligar: He plays if Volquez cant man the 5th spot
Thewhitley05: i see
Cligar: Long relivers are Kam Loe and the gang
Thewhitley05: which hopefully he can by next year
Thewhitley05: is otsuka the closer
Cligar: Littleton steps up as a set up man
Cligar: yeah
Cligar: and showalter is fired, and rusty greer is the new manager
Thewhitley05: haha
Thewhitley05: rusty greer as manager actually sounds pretty awesome
Cligar: But he is not only the manager, but he is a player/manager
Cligar: pinch hitting in clutch situations
Cligar: eventually hitting the walk off HR in game 7 against the Astros off brad lidge
Thewhitley05: where he always comes through
Cligar: And I catch the game winning HR
Cligar: at the ballpark
Thewhitley05: haha
Cligar: and become a legend
Thewhitley05: wow you really got this figured out
Cligar: yep
Cligar: it should work
Thewhitley05: are you gonna let john daniels know about your plan
Cligar: Ill just post it on my blog, which I think he reads
Thewhitley05: i figure he does
Thewhitley05: he's a smart guy

PS: In mid August John Smoltz is pitching against the A's in a crucial game. He has a perfect game going into the 7th. Frank Thomas (with a league leading 58 HR at this point) hits a towering fly ball and GMJ heads to the warning track. Knowing he can't make the catch, he hits his knees, and Rusty Greer (who pinch hit for Cruz in the 6th (homerun) jumps off of Matthews' back stealing the home run, preserving the perfect game, and goes on to become the only player in majors history to secure two perfect games with an amazing catch. His play becomes the single greatest defensive play in baseball history (forever), and afterwards he tosses the ball in the stands and of course... I catch it.

Best Pick Up Line?

2006-08-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

I was reading on deadspin.com about the Harold Reynolds firing and how there was a book some years back detailing Mike Tirico's alleged sexual encounters. Ultimately the book paints Mike in a good picture as a married man who realized he had a problem.

Anyway, the book did have this little gem. Apparently Mike Tirico was at a bar with some younger production assistants and threw out this pretty awesome pick up line:

"I know you want to screw me. So let's leave."

Edgar & Hooch

2006-07-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

So I am in law school, and it basically sucks. Don't get me wrong, I have a good time hanging out with my friends, and overall I have enjoyed it. But nothing involved with the law really does anything for me. I need something to kind of inspire me as to what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I was thinking about it this evening, when what should come on TV: Turner & Hooch.

I have now decided that the answer to my question is to go out and adopt a big drooling dog. Preferrabily a French Mastiff, which I plan on doing tomorrow. From the movie, any down on his luck average guy can take in this hound, and his life will instantly turn around. Yeah, so you may waste a sofa or two, and hell, he may even bust through your small doggy door, shattering the previous one. But at the same time, I realize the benefits he also brings.

1) In the end, the dog will save your life. I imagine in the next few years I will have many near death experiences, in which a dog could save my life. If I don't invest in hooch, I don't want to know what could happen.

2) I will instantly become a famous police officer. While I am not currently an officer, I imagine that adopting a dog such as Hooch would afford me the same opportunities. If the dog can sniff out a felon from the third floor of a building, imagine what he could do for me.

3) I could start dating a hot girl, such as the one Hooch hooks Detective Scott Turner with. I mean, Hooch hooked up with Dr. Emily Carson's collie days before Tom Hanks had anything to do with her.

4) I could more than likely get to meet Coach Hayden Fox and Officer Carl Winslow, who both appeared in the movie Turner & Hooch. I don't really have anything else to add here, except that I imagine if I did get a dog like Hooch, I would probably get to meet them.

Until I get my Hooch, I guess I will continue to just coast by. But eventually, Edgar & Hooch will be a household name.

P.S.

French Mastiff's run around 2500 bucks, so I will be collecting donations. Damn you Tom Hanks for getting one for free.

I should write a disaster movie....

2006-05-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

thefretty: i am pumped about poseidon
thefretty: i got excited when i saw kurt russell is in it
Cligar: Captain Ron
Cligar: yeah
Cligar: he's the perfect guy for a disaster movie
Cligar: I guess Dennis Quaid and Pierce Brosnan weren't available
thefretty: for sure
Cligar: or Bill Paxton
Cligar: but yeah Kurt Russell is perfect
thefretty: harrison ford needs to make the jump to disaster movies
Cligar: Yeah that would be a great career move
Cligar: He plays like the caring father good husband role good
thefretty: yeah
Cligar: throw in like a huge flood or something
Cligar: and he could do all his intense lines
thefretty: or a hurricane
Cligar: oh yeah
thefretty: has there been a hurricane movie?
Cligar: Not that I know of
thefretty: there needs to be
Cligar: I mean it would be perfect; he would be the family man on the side - but also the guy that works as like a member of the Coast Guard
Cligar: so he would be directly involved with the hurricane preparations
thefretty: there would have to be an airplane scene where he flies through the hurricane
Cligar: yeah maybe to rescue his college age son who two days before had taken the family yacht out on the sea for some boozing
Cligar: and the radio went down

Tom Selleck

2006-04-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that Tom Selleck may become the next Chuck Norris. I really don't want to get into the Chuch Norris thing, but I will say this...

I took this picture in Cannes in 2003, well ahead of the Chuck Norris phase. But that isn't really my point, there is no way for me to ever prove that I liked Church Norris before he was cool (?).

Anyway, I can't let this happen to Tom Selleck. I have been a huge Selleck fan ever since I was on my way to Angelfire and stopped in some real small antique store and found a button that said "I'm saving myself for Tom Selleck". Ever since then I have made it a point to watch all his made for TV movies (but not his appearances on Friends). I am actually watching Quigley Down Under right now.

I just hope that whenever the time comes that people are making up crazy facts about Tom Selleck, they will recognize that I was the first to do so.

Look How Big This Rabbit Is

2006-04-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

It's about as big as a medium sized dog. Pretty unbelievable.

College Basketball and People I Hate

2006-03-26T17:04:00.000-08:00

March Madness may be my favorite sporting event of the year, next to the Super Bowl (if the Cowboys were playing in it). I could talk about how much I like it and my thoughts and what not, but instead I decided to make a list of some of the people I hate in College Basketball. This list is definitely not conclusive - I am sure I hate a lot more people than just these. But these are some people off the top of my head that I just can't stand.

Mike Nardi, Villanova

You will notice a common theme here, but I hate Nardi because he is a little white guy that tries to look thug. Shaved head, tat on the shoulder. No matter how hard he tries, this guy can never be "hard". What I hate most about Nardi is that Villanova was on my favorite teams and was a team that was very exciting to watch. Then Nardi, who averages 10 points a game in the regular season, comes in and shoots like 2-25. Come on, when you are little white guy you gotta hit your 3's, and he really blew it this year. Next year he needs to spend a little less time listening to Mr. Gucci and a little more time practicing his shot like little white guys should.

Bruce Weber, Illinois

Has there ever been a cheeiser coach? Watching this guy last year as Illinois was making thier run was painful. Not only does he wear the stupid orange sports coat (unlike Bruce Pearl and Roy Williams who are cool enough to pull off the school colored coat), but he acts real feminine. Look at this picture, I think it shows off that side.

Josh Boone, Connecticut

Is this not the ugliest man in college basketball? Last year was especially brutal because of both Boone and Villanueva, the black albino. And in a feat that few thought was possible, Boone actually increased his ugliness by growing out a stupid line beard. Also, from a basketball stand point, the guy never got any better from his freshman year when they won it all. He will probably still get drafted, hopefully by the Celtics, so he can play alongside Brian Scallabrine and compete every year for ugliest black/white forward duo in the NBA.

Kevin Pittsnogle, West Virginia

I can't stand Pittsnogle. First because he has really stupid looking tatoos. I just don't get the white guy tatoo thing, and his are especially big and outrageous. Also, for some reason people really liked him last year and big dorks were heard around the world saying "They got Pittsnoggled" which is just a terrible line. Sucks for West Virginia, because I like Gansey but I just can't really pull for them because of Pittsnogle.
Mike Jensen, Washington

I think the picture alone says a lot. The hair is obviously died blonde - my number one hated thing about a person - and he has a real stupid tat that is probably like his name in Japanese lettering. I bet after the game he gets into his Miata, revs up the engine, and drives off blaring "Big Pimpin'" like its 1998. To go along with this, he is also like the shitty white guy thats about 6'8" and has no business playing basketball except that he is tall. I am glad I only had to watch one Washington game this year, because I can't stand this guy.

One last thing - I also really hate the guy in the Cingular commercials. He is such an ass hole. Ok, so his phone is better than his friends. Big deal, its just a cell phone. Instead he walks around like he is the shit because he can check his bracket updates on his phone and makes fun of his friend for being excited about the tournament. Unbelievable.

That WAS the Best Movie I've Ever Seen

2006-03-06T11:17:00.000-08:00

Not really, but there were some funny parts. I took notes while I watched it, and was planning on writing something funny. Instead, I think I will just post the very plain notes. Hopefully they will be enough on their own.

SPOILER: Don't read further if you plan on renting Death Ring.

P.S. - I forgot about this... I was excited that I actually found this movie to rent, I rented it as a VHS tape even though I don't have a VCR. I went and bought a cheap VCR with the intent of returning it after the movie. So I watched Death Ring and then boxed up the VCR and was about to take it to back to Wal Mart when I realized that Death Ring was still inside. That was Wednesday. The VCR is still at my apartment and Death Ring is still boxed up inside.

On with the notes...

1:20 - I press play
- Before the movie started there was a preview for an Emilio Estevez movie

1:24 - Movie begins

Starst off with guys on mountain bikes with some hard rock song
They are riding through a forest on their mountain bikes
Bikes - Mountain Climbing - Repelling down the other side
Ok, it’s a Survival of the Fittest contest
Matt Collins is winning after the rock climb

Movie was produced by Gary Bettman - like director of NHL players assocation

Collins victory celebration was verty awkward
guy keeps poring champagne on him

Island is real funny looking

“Toughest competition” in sports

Skylord is the best damn chopper pilot in the history of aviation
His “usual” for dinner is a shot of whiskey

Bar fight
- Someoene hits on Norris wife
- Norris breaks his finger
- Tell you’re friend he’s lucky he’s drunk

1: 36 - Sex Scene w/ nude tits
- No actual scenes of sex, just the girl laying their topless

1:52 - The hunters are introduced to Collins, and then they go around and introduce themselves and tell a little about themselves. Except Apache, he just says his name “Is that it?” “That’s enough”

2:03 - Each hunter gets their weapon by drawing a pool ball, and the number on it corresponds to some old fashioned weapon (like a spear [ which Apache gets and then does an Indian yell])
Very stereotypical - Mr Chen also got Chinese throwing stars

2:06 Apache is having an Indian ritual and screaming a lot
Iceman is lifting weights
- Mr Chen is meditating
- the American guy has no vice

2:10 - All the hunters take a shot of snakes blood

2:16 - Norriss fights Mr. Chen - Chen misses with all 4 throwing stars, while Norriss simultaneously breaks his knee and kicks him into a trap he set up which kills Chen
He calls back to the house “Ill have you know that Mr. Chen is now Mr. Dead”

2:20 - Topless scene #2, still no sex though

2:24 Norris runs into Don Swayze, who was a former huntee, who tricked the hunters into thinking he died in quick sand, but is still alive and teams up with Norriss
2:27 - Skylord steals a helicopter and flies to the island to save Norriss while some real inspirational music plays

2:31 - Apache finds Norriss, and radios the Super Boss, who decides to have sex with Ms Ling while he listens to them fight
- Norriss kills Apache when Apache dives from a hill on top of him and Norriss sticks a tree limb up him while he is in the air
- Swayze gets on the radio and says his back from the dead line

2:35 - The American betrays Iceman and strangles him, leaving himself as the only hunter battling both Norriss and Swayze

2: 38 - American fights Norriss but Norriss kicks him in the balls then kicks a knife out of his hand
- American starts to beat up Norriss but Swayze comes from behind and kills American with a big stick
- Norriss becomes the first prey to ever survive the hunt, but Super Boss decides to send the game into Sudden Death, and the winner of the next round gets to keep Norriss’ girlfriend (who we’ve already seen topless)

2:42 - Norriss and Swayze take out the guards really easy
- Norriss shoots his machine gun sideways
- Skylord shows up in the helicopter prompting an “All Right!!” from Norriss
- Skylord drops a grenande from the helicopter which blows two gaurds up in the air

Swayze makes really funny faces when he kills people
Norriss - if Im not back in 15 minutes, level this place
Skylord drops another grenande and another guard flies up in the air
Swayze with a “Guess Who?” and then shoots the guard

2: 48 - Norriss girlfriend is tied up on a bed, Ms Ling kisses her
- Super Boss comes in with a sword and starts stroking her breast with it
- Norriss busts into the house and shoots up the radio room, while Super Boss takes off his girlfriends dress
- Norriss throws Ms Ling out a window and says “Lady’s first”
- Norriss tries to rescue girlfriend, but has to fight Super Boss first

2: 54
Round house kick to the face and Super Boss loses his sword and Norriss grabs it
Super Boss pulls out backup sword
Norriss stabs Super Boss in the balls, then does a spin and slits Super Boss’ throat and cuts his girlfriend free

2:56 - They all get into a helicopter but Norriss goes back in for some unknown reason and has to fight Ms Ling again
- Girlfriend shoots Ms Ling in the back
- Norriss jumps off the balcony and does a dive roll and gets back in the chopper

End - Norriss proposes to his girlfriend in the chopper
- Turns out Norriss went back in the house to get the “Death Ring” (To claim his prize)
- Credits roll as chopper flies off over the ocean

Best Movie Ever?

2006-02-28T16:56:00.000-08:00

Norriss? McQueen Swayze? When I first saw those names I knew this movie was going to be a great film.

However: Once I found out the first names, I knew it would be epic.

Mike Norriss. Chad McQeen, and Don Swayze.

This epic adventure thriller features an unbelievable casts made up of Chuck Norriss' son, Steve McQeen's son, and Patrick Swayze's brother. I am not making this up.

Here is the synopsis from Rotten Tomatoes...
Winning a survivalist competition as "The Toughest Man Alive," only attracts the attention of a perverse millionaire for Matt Collins. He and his wife are kidnapped and made "prey" of his annual private manhunt - open only to the rich. Collins must prove he is the toughest man alive and kill off his attackers one by one...or be added to their list of casualties.

Of course Mike Norriss plays the star, Matt Collins. I haven't actually seen this movie, so I can only imagine how good it is. However, I plan on renting it very soon, probably tomorrow. It went straight to video, bypassing all that theater bullshit, so it should be easy to find. It's probably a mainstay on the New Release shelf.

I couldn't find a preview, but I did find this gem of a line courtesy of Don Swayze, aka John Blackwell.

"I'm back from the dead, and I'm gonna kick your ass..."

Other points of interest...
- Chad McQueen's name in the movie is "Skylord" Harris - a pretty kick ass name.
- One of the other stars of the movie is a guy named Billy Drago, whose other films include El Muerto (playing the part of "Old Indian"), Blood Relic (Harry), and Worn Like a Tattoo
- Other Death Ring characters are Merlin, Iceman, Mr. Chen, and Apache.

I imagine there is a scene where "Skylord" Harris is surround by Mr. Chen and the Iceman, when Mike Norris flies out of no where with a barrage of round house kicks to save him.

If he anyone has seen this movie, please comment. I will watch it and post my review later.

Hell Mate

2006-02-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

This started my Freshman year with Jared and Jay. The premise is this: if Hell was spending the rest of your life alone in a room with only one person, who would that person be?

The thing is, this person may not be someone you hate or have a problem with, it is usually just someone that drives you crazy because they are annoying, and you just couldn't handle being around them that long.

I have gone through various Hell mates over the years, and I am sure that it will change again in the next few months. I would have to say right now that my Hell mate is Chris Walker (A&M bball player) or anyone that talks about Chris Walker, and how he is the greatest story in NCAA history.

I've known his story, and luckily I've managed to forget it over the years, but I just can't stand hearing about it. The guy hustles, thats great, but he is just not a good basketball player. His best move is the run really hard and fall down. In his last game he ran really hard and fell down and broke a court sign at the Baylor game. Of course the announcers immediately started talking about his unbelievable story, how much he loves the game, how much he hustles. But I mean, all he did that play was run real hard and fall down and do nothing during the play except stop the game for 5 minutes... I couldn't take it.

A close second is anyone sporting the Soul Patch.

More Chris Walker:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7397540578328570380&pl=-7443121767145869561,3259285179894782939,8388007983513126557,7622648771472692814,7397540578328570380,7418634879415132303,4400099780555072898
This is him lip snyching with his shirt off

RIP Knights

2006-02-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

Over the past 4 plus years I have participated in many the Knight beating, the latest one taking place this past Saturday night. While you regret it the next morning, and kind of feel embarassed about it, it just the only thing you can do at that point during the night.

My first beating happened my sophomore year. It was a weekend that all of my friends were out of town, and me and a few others went to a Tom Petty concert. I got back to Waco around 1 or so, and me and Casey decided that we didn't want to go to sleep, but to go ahead and finish the rest of the handle of R&R Whiskey. We were successful, and with no one else in town, we turned our drunken rage on the lonely knight in the corner of his house.

I don't remember any specifics. I do remember repeated punches to the face, and later looking down at my wrist to see it streaming with blood. I doctored it with the remainder of the R&R, and probably passed out, I don't really remember. The next morning the knight was ruined.

My second memorable occassion came about a year later. This time there many more people around, but same sort of rage. It only takes one person to suggest destroying the knight, and it will happen. In this case the instigator actually had to leave early and get stitches from his cuts. Fortunately, I stayed around, and going back to my pro wrestling fan days, I decided to attempt a high risk maneuver. After setting up the knight between the floor and top of the couch, I attempted numerous leg drops - missing on most. The knight, however, was in pieces the next morning.

The most recent time occurred this past weekend. I think that it was inevitable, because setting right next to the knight, was a large wooden pole. Or as I like to say, wooden staff. We had kept the thought in the back of our mind the entire night, and finally could not resist. The knight held up a good fight with a lot of stabs to the face with the staff, but eventually could not prevail against Shep. As valiant a fight as he put up, Shep with his "steamroller" eventually flattened the knight. It seriously was about 2 centimeters thick the next day.

In honor of all knights that have gone down over the years, I want to take this moment to thank them for being good sports.

PS - the best parts of the story are left out, but it is one of those things where you have to be there or it sounds real stupid, and most people that read this were there

The next step...

2006-02-07T19:54:00.000-08:00

So after my new friendship with Mamadou, and his great game against Missourri, I decided to take the next step in our friendship.

The facebook "Wall Post". I had nothing meaningful to say, and I wanted my post to stick out. I wasn't going to settle for the "good game" or "nice blocks", but I just could not think of anything cool or clever to say. Instead, I posted the dumbest / cheesiest thing I could think of.

"Dou, you looked like an angry landlord underneath the basket tonight"

Maybe I should be ashamed, I don't know, but at least he will remember me as the bad sports joke guy.

Thank you....

2006-02-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

After the Baylor terrible 2nd half, I was very depressed. I came home, and decided that I wasn't going to do anything else. I had just bought a pack of cigarettes, and was planning on drinking and smoking alone in the dark, drowing my sorrow in alcohol.

Things took a turn for the worse however, when I realized I had lost my lighter at the bar the night before. My plan was ruined, and I was going to have to just watch TV and go to sleep like a normal person. But then, I remembered something from a few weekends ago.

I got my suitcase out, fished around, and found what I was missing...... a lighter in the form of Dale Earnhardt Jr. Sporting the cool shades and a big grin, he was the answer to my problems.

Thank you Dale Jr., you have earned my unturnable support for you this NASCAR season. Go get
em Dale, and keep the sunglasses cool.

Family Feud

2006-02-03T17:50:00.000-08:00

This isn't very long, but it was really funny to me, but I am sure you had to see it to get it.

I was watching Family Feud hosted Al Borland, and one of the teams was in the finals. They were pretty bad to begin with, but in the second half, one of the categories was "Harry creature, real or fictitous." Dog had not been said yet, which I am sure was number one. The lady didn't even say Cat, or Horse, or any even Bigfoot.

She said... The Loch Ness Monster.

I always imagined the Loch Ness Monster as having scales or like the skin of a rhino. But even if it does have hair, how is that the first thing that comes to your mind? Unbelievable.

Re: Mamadou

2006-02-01T13:26:00.000-08:00

Today, Mamadou accepted me as a friend on the Facebook. I just want to thank anyone who helped make this happen, and especially thank Mamadou himself who probably has never read this.

This guy can flat out analyze...

2006-01-30T19:32:00.000-08:00

My favorite Sportscenter personality is Sean Salisbury. If you ever get a chance to watch him on NFL Live or during one of the Sportscenter segments, you have to watch.

His best segment is Fact or Fiction, and the reason is because Sean Salisbury thinks everyone is awesome. He doesn't have a bad thing to say about any coach or player in the league, even when the guy he is talking about really does suck.

Fact or Fiction: Will Ron Dayne make an impact on this year's NY Giants team?

Salisbury: Well that is without a doubt a 100% fact. This guy can flat out run the ball. Combined with Tiki Barber, there is no reason for this guy not to run for 1000 yards and 10 TD's. I expect this season to be the reemergence of Ron Dayne.

I think that Ron Dayne that season had about 28 carries for 110 yards. Thats the beauty of Sean Salisbury... he doesn't care. In his mind, Ron Dayne is still running for 1800 yards at Wisconsin.

Fact or Fiction: Mike Martz will be the coach of the Rams next season

Salisbury: Unfortunately, this is a fiction. But i'll tell you what, this guy will be on the market for 30 seconds, max! This guy can flat out coach. Any team will be lucky to have him as their head coach, he's one of the best in the league.

Seriously, watch this guy. I am not exaggerating at all, and it is hilarious.

The Walk

2006-01-19T19:17:00.000-08:00

I went through a phase where I didn't post anything for months at a time, and I got some heat for it. Well, I really don't have anything better to do most nights, so I figure that even if I don't have anything creative to post, or a wierd event that happened that day, I would just think back about some stories that some people seem to like. The handful of people who read this have probably already heard these, but for the one or two that haven't...

This story takes place the morning after the Section 2 Halloween party. The night was filled with a lot of drinking, and a lot of controversy, fortunately of which I avoided. I acted pretty responsible and towards the end of the night decided I just needed to take the free ride home. I made it home safe, got into bed, and thought everything was fine. It was.... until I woke up.

I woke up about 7 in the morning and instantly realized the situation I was in. I tried to fight it and go back to sleep, and I did for a little bit, but ultimately I couldn't get it out of my mind. About 9 that morning I got up to face the situation. (WARNING: This really isn't that big of a deal, and has probably happened to people many times, but I make big deals out of little things)

Still a little drunk, I got out of bed and faced up to the fact that I was at home. Unfortunately, my car, keys, and cell phone were not with me. Being a Halloween party, and in costume, I had only taken my wallett with me because of the lack of pockets. The rest of my things were 60 blocks away at my friends house on the other side of town.

Normally, not having my car in the morning is not a big deal. I just call someone to take me to it, and while it sucks for them, it usually works out in the end. This time, I had no cell phone. I also have no house phone. And even if I did have access to a phone, I do not know off the top of my head anyone in Lubbock's phone number. I could wait till someone got on the AIM, but that could have been hours, and I had studying to do. Plus, asking someone on the AIM for a ride to my car across is pretty shameful. I decided there was only one thing to do... start walking.

Originally I only planned on walking to the mall (close to my apartment) and using a pay phone to call a cab. However, I decided to see what happens, so I geared up (shoes, athletic shorts, fleece, and portable radio) and just started walking. It wasn't that bad at first. It was a cool morning, kind of overcast, with a nice breeze. I was still a little drunk, so I didn't realize how wierd what I was doing was. After about 15 minutes I passed the mall, still feeling good, and decided to keep going, thinking there would be another phone.

To make a long story not as long, I never decided to use a phone. I walked the entire way. Two and half hours later I arrived at my friends house. Most of the walk was through parking lots, with small intersections. There was only one time where I contemplated stopping. The intersection of a major road (Slide) and a highway. I knew that I could not cross at the red light, because there were too many lanes. So I started walking down the highway a bit, through parking lots, and realized that my only real way to get a cross was to go across the median. Normally this would not be a problem, except that this median consisted of 15 yards of 4 foot tall grass.

Not wanting to walk out of the way past the grass, I decided that I had come this far, and I wasn't that far away from my car, I would just go for it. I ran across the road, and highstepped it through the grass (I really did run high knees style, not really sure why). The rest of the trip was uneventful, though I did have to hug a fence for awhile (the sidewalk ended so there was only about two feet between fence and road).

I eventually got to my friends house, went inside, got my stuff, and went home. The next day I was very sore.

Me and Mamadou

2006-01-18T19:32:00.000-08:00

I have noticed recently that Mamadou is friends with lots of people on the Facebook. However, he is not friends with me. I have asked him to be my friend at least 5 times, yet still, we are not friends. It is apparenty that Mamadou is not picky about his Facebook friends, but still will not accept my friend invitation, even though I am a huge Baylor Basketball fan, and say so on my profile. There is only one reason for this.

I got some inside knowledge about when Mamadou was starting school, and where his first class was. I had class at 9, and so did he, in the Carroll Science Building. I decided to go camp out there around 840. The first time I came out with nothing, but I decided to try again anyway. The second time, well, this is where the story takes a turn for the worse.

It is about 855., and I realize that I need to get to class. I give up my search, and am no longer "looking" for Mamadou. This is where it gets me. As I turn the corner, I practically bump into Dou. Now a normal person would have played it cool, said sorry, and kept going. Not me. I was going through my crackhead stage (I used to get real scared of birds flying around, they made me jump). So what did I do? I jumped. Here is a 7 foot man, just staring down at me. I was startled, and it was a big jump, noticeable.

I think Mamadou remembers that, and had a problem with it. In fact, I think he took offense to it, and refuses to be my Facebook friend because of it. So I have a request, if anyone reading this knows Mamadou, please tell him that it wasn't him... it was me. I was scared of birds to. I would like a chance to talk to him to try and work things out.

Wheel of Fortune

2006-01-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

So tonight I signed up for Wheel of Fortune. I entered three different ways: the Wheelmobile, as a college student, and as an adult. I think I have the best shot as a college student, since within the next year or so they should do the Big 12 edition again, so I should at least get a shot to try out.

I would really like to compete as an adult though, in one of the celebrity shows. When you sign up, you check whether or not you are a fan of different categories: football, basketball, baseball, NASCAR, and country music were the ones I checked (I did not check the WNBA).

Trying to play the odds right, when asked who my favorite players were (after you check favorite team), I opted to say that my favorite player was the most likely player from the team to actually be on the show.

For the Cowboys, I picked Jason Witten. I would have picked Dat Nguyen, but he retired. I don't think Roy Williams would do the show, I do like Witten, I think he is about the "star" quality that would do the show, and he may actually be a decent partner.

For the Mavericks, I decided to go with Devin Harris. While not the best partner for the game, he is young, pretty good, but not yet a starter, and the type of guy I think might volunteer to do the show. Thinking about it, Keith Van Horn may have been the better choice, but it is too late now.

For the Rangers, I chose Rod Barajas. I actually hate Rod Barajas, but I would have a good time acting cheesy and giving him high fives. Plus, he is the most likely of the three I have mentioned so far to actually do the show.

For NASCAR, I chose Carl Edwards. He is actually one of my favorite drivers, but he is not that well known yet. While finishing good in the Chase, NASCAR just isn't that mainstream enough for Wheel of Fortune to be "beneath him." I think he would make a good partner.

For country music, I picked Pat Green. I don't really like Pat Green anymore, but I don't dislike him. I think he is definitley a Wheel of Fortune guy. While I probably should have gone with the guy that sings "Have you Forgotten", I didn't think about it at the time, and since I am from Texas, maybe I have a better chance of making it with a Texas guy.

All in all, I think I have a pretty good chance. I am willing to travel to meet the Wheelmobile. I do consider myself an elite Wheel of Fortune player, and I can act cheesy enough to win over the talent scouts (for lack of a better term) at the auditions. My only reservation is that while very good at guessing the puzzles, I have very bad luck, and can see getting lots of Bankruptcy's and Lose a Turn. But, I do know the key to winning is to get the Prize Puzzle and then get the "Final Spin of the Wheel" puzzle, b/c a $1000 is added to whatever it lands on. Winning a 1300 on one of the other puzzles won't get you anywere.

I think I am going to have to wait more than a year before I get my big break, but when I do, I will be leaving The Wheel in a brand new lime green Kia Sophia.

Movie Trailer Lines

2005-12-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a trailer for the movie Firewall starring Harrison Ford. I love movie trailers, especially ones with the really cheesy lines with action background music playing. This trailer was especially good, with lines like "I want to know what's going on, and I want to know now!"

Harrison Ford is the king of trailer movie lines. A lot of people think it is Schwarzenegger, and he has good lines, but if you watch the trailer, his best lines aren't always there.

Ford's best cheesy lines come in Air Force One. The best are:
#1 - "I am the President of the United States!!!"
#2 - "Get off my plane..." (followed by a kick [which does send the guy off the plane]

I am sure the Fugitive has great ones, but I didn't see it. I suggest you view some old cheesy action movie trailers, I really think you will laugh.

T.O. and Darth Vader

2005-11-18T22:38:00.000-08:00

This doesn't make any sense at all.

But I just watched some ESPN segment on how Terrell Ownes BECAME T.O slowly over the years.

At one point they showed some clip and said "And this is when he was no longer Terrell.... but T.O."

And then I just started laughing and thinking about him going from Annikan Skywalker to Darth Vader.

I hope T.O. recruits his unbeknownst son into the NFL, and in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl announces that he is his father, and then his son switches teams.

White House Dinner

2005-11-02T20:08:00.000-08:00

I randomly found a list of the guests at the White House dinner for Prince Charles and Cammilla (sp). The list I saw probably had 10-12 names. One of the names..... Kelsey Grammar.

When does Ted Danson get his dinner?

My Computer

2005-10-31T18:58:00.000-08:00

Whenever I am on my computer at my apartment, and I open up the internet, it doesn't matter what site I go to or how long I have the browser open, whenever I close it Axel F - the Beverly Hills Cop theme plays for about 1-2 seconds.

I have no idea why this happens. I can close every other program and it still plays. If it is a virus it is not a very good one, because I kind of like it.

My favorite phrase

2005-10-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

I think my favorite phrase is "secret code."

I really saw this in the news about some secret code embedded in lazer printers that the US government can see.

When I think of a secret code, I think of like a 15 year old who you jokingly let in on something and then tell him there there is a secret code, and he gets real excited. And then you all laugh at him.

I don't really know why I think it is so funny, but I hope in the next couple of days someone comes to me and tells me a secret code.

Nothing to say

2005-09-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

I don't have anything meaningful or funny to say.

I was reading about a near plane crasch in Vegas where a American West plane came within 100 feet of another plane.

When I flew from London to France I think this happened about 4 times. You could look out the window and see planes, and they looked big and close (its hard to tell in the air) flying right by you. It was only like an hour and a half flight. It was really wierd and was talked about more than once.

I don't know why I posted this.

Things That I Like... today

2005-09-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

I am bored, and this is a list of things I have liked today.

Gram Parsons
Judge John Roberts
South Carolina Congressman Lindsay Graham
Kielbosa Sausage
Roger Clemens
One class on Wednesday
The setup of my desk at home
FIFA Soccer 2004
A perfect through pass for a one on one with a goalie
Noticing I misspelled the word Its in the title (It's)
Skipping a comma workshop, in which I need a lot of help
Thinking that Baylor will beat Army on national (kinda) TV
Chicken
Not having my contacts in
The movie Wall Street
People that don't like the ACLU

Where will the money come from?

2005-09-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

I was just reading that the Katrina is going to cost the US Government roughly 100 billion dollars. My question is where does this money come from. In an ideal world it would be nice to think that we could recover on debt from foreign countries. I doubt this will happen.

I do not understand completely the concept of national debt.

If I had to assume, it would be the issuance of new money that would have to go to private companies which would increase circulation raising inflation and the CPI.

Will the government raise taxes to account for this? I would have to assume it would be taxes on the upper end of the tax bracket, which would (in my conservative theory) take away from the investors stimulating the economy.

I think this hurricane could redefine not only the lives of the Gulf Coast, but the people of the United States as a whole. I think this proves to be another (although selfish) reason for the American people to personally contribute to the relief.

I pose more questions than answers, and will be tuned into the news channel for the next few months.

Fantasy Football and Spell Check

2005-09-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

First I want to go ahead and point out that I do not spell check. This isn't a research paper, and if you can't tell what I mean when I type agmes instaed of games, or leave out an "of", then reading a boring blog probably isn't your top priority.

That aside, I turn my attention to Fantasy Football. It has been around for over 10 plus years, but has become a cultural phenomena. No self respecting NFL fan does not have atleast one team. In fact, it can be seen that fans of a certain team may shed their loyalty when a close fantasy game is at stake. I am guilty of this. If I am down by 8, and the Cowboys are playing the Redskins, both teams are 5-10 and I have Clinton Portis, I hope he has 130 yards rushing and 2 TDs. If the Cowboys win, all for the better, but if they lose and my fantasy team wins, for atleast two days I have something over my counterparts.

The NFL has even recognized this and made commercials on it. I think the Peyton Manning one is greatnest. "You're my favorite accountant." They offer free leagues, much like Yahoo! (who I think now identifies with the exclamation point) and ESPN. It is a good way to get fans even more involved in football.

Here lies the issue. Today in class, I spent almost two hours drafting my team, instead of listening. My draft started at 12:30 and I lasted until the bitter end (about 1:40) so I could see to it that I drafted Tony Romo, Patrick Hape, and Tommy Maddox. I could not help it. I missed a lot of information for fantasy football? and I loved every minute of it. I may miss an entire issue on my final, but damnit if my fantasy football team won't take first place.

Football because I don't feel like coming up with a catchy title

2005-09-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

I think that in college football is neccessary to schedule a terrible team for your first game. With no exhibition games or scrimmages against other teams, it is hard to gauge where your team is at and "mesh" for lack of a better word. A lot of teams come out flat in the first half even against bad teams. If you do that to a team relatively close to your level, you could start out the season with a loss. When you only play 11 games and have bowl aspirations this can be a tough thing to overcome, especially if you are look at a 6 or 7 win season.

I also think that when you are struggling program and you hire a new coach, you need to get a gimmick guy. With less talent and playing traditionally good schools, it is hard to come out and win some games your first few seasons runnning the kind of offense that teams see week in and week out. Even though the gimmick may not be good for long term success, if you only win a few games for three or four seasons, you are no better off than when you started. It is harder to get recruits, increase fan support, etc. If in a few years you can start winning 5 or 6 games with a gimmick, knowing that in the next year or two other teams will figure it out, there is always the possibility that the gimmick can materialize into a legitimate offense.

It's hard either way to turn a program around, but I feel like the gimmick can atleast make the agmes more exciting, get the fans involved, and then you can get some of the things you need to turn the program around.

Looters

2005-08-31T19:45:00.000-07:00

I like to keep in check with the news. One of the big stories is about looters, and whether or not the are taking things they need to survive, or actually "looting."

I am on the fence with this man. I would say he is taking things that are neccessary for human life.

To start it off...

2005-08-31T19:26:00.000-07:00

I never really thought I start a blog. Always seemed a little too yuppie, but then I realized that I have nothing to do most nights because I have to wake up so early, and I would have time to do something like this most evenings.

I do not plan on ever posting anything meaningful. More than likely I will talk about random things that happen to me during the day, and then some nights I will get real drunk and post dumb things with a lot of misspelled words.

Today I was trying to buy stamps, and the lady in front of me at the Customer Service line at Alberton's was trying to exchange some groceries and get the money credited back to her Albertson's gift card. Total amont: $1.59. It took about 10 minutes for this to take place.